Traitor
by Exceeds Expectations
Summary: Peter doesn't think he's a traitor.


**1.**

Peter looks Sirius in the eyes and tells him straight; _I am not a traitor. _He says it with such conviction that he even believes himself. Sirius nods, tight lipped, and turns away. His limbs are fidgety, his fingers twitching, and his eyes dart as if searching for something. He sees Remus in the corner, tattered and weary from his nights undercover for the Order. Peter watches the seed of doubt bloom in Sirius' eyes.

**2.**

There is a something about Regulus that reminds Peter of Sirius. Maybe it's the glint of silver in steely eyes, or maybe it's that strong, Black confidence. But something in his face takes Peter back to Hogwarts, back to a time before betrayal and lies. When Regulus finds him that first afternoon and asks him why, Peter does not reply. Instead he stares into Regulus' eyes and wishes he could go back. Regulus doesn't repeat himself, but then, he doesn't really need to. If Peter had asked him, Regulus' stare would have been just as blank.

**3.**

There have been times when Peter curls up next to Regulus and pretends the curve of his spine is Sirius', the long, dark hair, the willowy limbs... Then Regulus rolls over and Peter jumps, crashing back to 1979 and remembering that nothing is the same. Today when he leans forward, Peter meets Regulus halfway for the sweetest kiss he has ever known; because he knows it'll probably be the last. There will be no time for kisses soon.

"He'll get you," Regulus whispers, damp lips hot against Peter's cheek.

"I know."

"He'll kill you."

"I probably deserve it."

"He'll call you a traitor. Peter the traitor."

Peter's eyes snap open and he clenches his fingers. When he speaks his voice is dripping with venom and disgust. Regulus knows it is not directed at him, but at Peter himself.

"I am not a traitor."

Peter still hears the honesty in his own voice. He wonders if he is that good a liar, or if the craziness that buzzes in his skull has spread.

"I know, Peter. I know. Me neither," smirks Regulus. He hauls himself up from the bed, slips a black robe over his head and leaves before Peter has even managed to formulate a response. He knows he might not see him again, at least for a while.

He swallows his goodbye and feels the burn of question that will never be answered. It's on his tongue, bitter and clumsy, and even though no one is around to hear it anymore, he can't help but ask.

"What is a traitor?"

**4.**

Regulus never had a problem with calling himself a traitor. He would smirk infuriatingly, his mouth twisted into a crooked, jeering smile that Peter had to kiss away. When Regulus called himself a traitor, Sirius' face would flash into Peter's mind and he'd wonder who was betraying whom. Was it Regulus betraying Sirius? Or was it Sirius betraying Regulus?

And then a small voice at the back of his head would whisper, "What if it's Regulus betraying you?"

When the months rolled by and he never came back, Peter knew that little voice was right.

**5.**

The night of their deaths, Lily and James' names float through his mind like lyrics of a song. Even though he hides in a grubby Muggle bar with some strange liquor, he is on edge.

Sirius will be looking. Sirius will be angry. Sirius will kill him. Sirius, with the stormy eyes and the dark, rose smudge of lips in his pale, serious face.

Peter doesn't want to die. He remembers Regulus, long ago on the coldest nights, arms around him and whispering promises from lips so like his brother's. He promised the traitors were going to lose.

_"People'll die. They'll kill or be killed, the traitors, and nobody even knows who they are. But they'll all die in the end. _We'll_ all die in the end_," Regulus had laughed, dark and rumbling.

Peter remembers wondering why Regulus had said "we". He still wonders sometimes, but he's given up ever knowing the truth. Regulus has been gone for almost a year.

**6.**

Regulus' laughter reverberates in Peter's ears as Sirius points a shaky hand at him. His senses are screaming at him to run, hide, save himself. And there's Sirius in front of him, hollow eyed and angry, hurling abuse, demanding answers. Peter can't differentiate the words though, and Regulus' cackle grows louder in his mind. Peter watches Sirius' hand with shifty eyes, until suddenly there's a bang, a flash, the curse cuts through his own finger and then Wormtail is running for the gutter.

The boy inside the rat takes one look back and sees a large, screaming and deranged madman being detained. He is livid. Someone is holding a wand to his head and there's another at his throat. Wormtail remembers Regulus nipping at Peter's throat and suddenly wants nothing more than to curl up in Regulus' pocket and sleep. He watches Sirius' rage one last time, before he turns and scurries. As he does so, he thinks of running towards stormy grey clouds and only has to change back and vomit once when he realises he is a traitor. The guilt soaks his skin and it occurs to him that he has betrayed the wrong side. It also occurs to him that Regulus must be dead, and James and Lily are dead now too, so Wormtail runs faster and faster in hopes that the burn of his muscles will let him run right back to 1971.


End file.
